


Sing Love

by FeaRauko



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon verse, First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Sam Ships It, Singing, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:38:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22221850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeaRauko/pseuds/FeaRauko
Summary: Castiel comes back from a grocery run with Sam and overhears Dean singing in the shower.***or***That one where Castiel finds out that Dean might love him too
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 22
Kudos: 126
Collections: Demon Void Army - Family Album, Takeout Tacos





	Sing Love

Castiel stepped out of the passenger side of the Impala and grabbed a bag of groceries from the back. He grinned and lowered his head, chuckling down at his bag as he hugged it to himself. He’d made a point to sneak some bacon and beer into the cart when Sam wasn’t looking. Castiel didn’t really care, but Dean did. 

Sam had just rolled his eyes when he saw them as they were checking out.

_ “You know you’re just aiding him along in his quest for high cholesterol and clogged arteries, right?” he’d said as they walked to the car. _

_ Castiel hummed. “You don’t have to worry about that.” _

_ Sam raised an eyebrow. “We’re not invulnerable to normal human frailties, you know.” _

_ “I do. That’s why I...fix that...from time to time.” _

_ “What? His cholesterol?” _

_ “Among other things.” _

_ Sam scoffed. “Dean really wouldn’t survive without you.” _

_ Castiel rolled his eyes. _

They set the grocery bags on the counter and began putting things away. Sam placed a bag of tomatoes in the fridge and paused, looking down thoughtfully. “Dean really does need you, you know. We both do, but...it’s kinda different for him.”

“Don’t worry, Sam. I’ll make sure you don’t lose your brother to heart disease.”

Sam laughed. “Oh, I think it’s too late for Dean’s heart.”

Castiel turned to him with an exasperated sigh. “Sam, I assure you, despite his somewhat deplorable habits, I am certain that Dean is in good health.”

Sam held up his hands placatingly. “I know. I know. Dean’s heart is in good hands. Got it.” Before Castiel could ask about the accompanying smirk to Sam’s comment, Sam clapped him on the shoulder. “Really though, thanks for always taking care of him.” He rolled his shoulders and sighed. “I think I’m gonna change and go for a run. Being in the car all day yesterday has me stiff. I’ll be back in a couple hours, okay?” He turned and headed out of the kitchen. “See ya later, Cas.”

Castiel nodded. “Have a good run.” 

As he put the box of pasta that he’d been holding into the cabinet, it occurred to him that he hadn’t seen Dean since he’d gotten back.

“Dean?”

No answer.

_ Huh.  _ Maybe he’d stepped out. But Sam and Castiel had been in the Impala, so Dean couldn’t have gone too far. Castiel set the case of beer - the last of the groceries - into the fridge and headed for the library, deciding to do some reading while he waited.

As he passed the bathroom, he heard a voice through the door:  _ Dean. _

So he  _ was _ home.

And he was singing. Castiel paused outside the door.

_ Brother, let me be your shelter! _

_ Never leave you all alone… _

Castiel smiled: this was a very  _ Dean  _ song. Though Dean Winchester may not be good with words - his “people skills” hardly being less deplorable than Castiel’s own - Castiel had found that few people could be more caring. Dean loved fiercely. You just had to know how to decipher it, and not everyone did.

There was silence for a moment, then the song changed to something slower, something deep, melodious.

Castiel considered walking on. He probably  _ should  _ move on to the library, as he was certain that Dean would consider Castiel standing outside the bathroom door listening to him in the shower as something that would fall under the same category of “creepy” as watching him sleep; but Dean’s voice was so deep and hypnotic and…

_ The tie… _

_ Blue. Backwards. _

_ Should I turn it for him?  _

_ Nah. _

Castiel tilted his head: those were strange lyrics. He felt certain that even with Metratron’s pop culture injection and Dean’s constant dedication to Castiel’s “musical education,” he had never heard this song before. 

_ Those eyes… _

_ Bluer. Intense. _

_ I should really stop staring _

_ Like, now. _

Listening to Dean was really something. There was just so much  _ feeling _ in his voice, as though he felt a personal connection to this song.

_ And that hair… _

_ Dark. Wild. _

_ I bet it’s perfect for running my fingers through. _

_ No. _

Castiel stood captured. Dean’s  _ longing _ ...it was palpable from here. Was...could Dean be thinking of someone as he sang this? A thought occurred to Castiel about the possibility of  _ why _ this song was so unfamiliar. Wait...did Dean  _ write _ this? Castiel felt something in his chest clench.

_ Those arms… _

_ Strong. Inviting. _

_ I bet they’d grip me tight again if I asked him to. _

_ Oh man. _

Castiel leaned his head against the door. He should leave. He didn’t want to think about Dean imagining someone’s arms, about those arms gripping Dean tight...again.

_ But those hands… _

_ Strong. Gentle. _

_ Hands that could tear me down as fast as they could heal. _

_ Ah. _

_ No.  _ Castiel didn’t want to think of someone’s hands on Dean, of Dean  _ wanting _ their hands to be on him.

_ Oh but that heart… _

_ So steady. I think it might be mine.  _

_ I know that’s crazy to think, but when I call he comes running  _

_ Every time. _

Castiel clenched his fists. Couldn’t Dean see that  _ he _ always came when Dean called? That Castiel always would? God, he would never leave Dean alone for even a moment if he thought it were what Dean wanted…

_ And my god, those lips… _

_ Pink. Kinda chapped.  _

_ Maybe someone should wet them. _

_ I...oh man. _

It was just a song. It was just a song. It was just a song. It was just a song. It was just a song.

_ Oh I bet they’d melt into a kiss. _

_ I bet that heart would pound against me.  _

_ I bet his hands would roam all over. _

_ I bet his arms feel so secure. _

_ I bet he’d let me pull his head back by that hair and kiss his neck. _

_ I bet those eyes shine in the dark. _

_ And that tie wouldn’t last for long… _

_ Oh man… _

Castiel squeezed his eyes shut and flexed his fingers against the door. He couldn’t take this. What was he doing to himself? Why couldn’t he just go on to the library? Why did he have to stop and listen in the first place?

_ Wait… _

_ What am I thinking? _

_ Cause this is Cas. This is Cas. This is Cas. _

_ Holy shit, this is Cas. _

_ But I think it’s  _ because  _ it’s Cas.  _

_ I think I  _ want _ it to be Cas. _

_ I think I  _ need _ it to be Cas. _

_ I think I need him.  _

_ I think that maybe I am in… _

_ I-- I need him.  _

_ I lo-- _

_ I’m in… _

_ ...Son of a bitch. _

Castiel couldn’t breathe. His eyes were wide, staring blankly at the bathroom door his forehead was still pressed against.

_ Impossible. _ There was no way. Was Dean really…?

The water cut off.

Castiel stumbled backwards, dazed and feeling a level of emotional whiplash that he wouldn’t have believed possible. He sprinted down the hall to the library, grabbed the first book he could reach, and collapsed into a chair. He stared unseeingly at the cover.

Was it possible?

***

The sound of footsteps broke the library’s silence.

_ Breathe, Castiel. Breathe. _

“Oh hey! I was wondering where you were. Noticed the fridge had been stocked but didn’t see you or Sam anywhere.”

Castiel flattened his palms against the table. “Sam went for a run.”

Dean plopped a beer on the table in front of Castiel. “Sounds about right.” Dean pulled out the chair across from him to sit, but hesitated, hovering when Castiel didn’t look up. “Cas, you okay, buddy?”

“I…” Castiel was nervous to meet Dean’s eyes. What would he find there? He had been sitting here trying to reason out what he had heard, but there was really only one way to interpret it: Dean had been singing a song that was probably original and...Dean had been singing about  _ him. _

Castiel finally looked up, wondering what he would see in Dean’s eyes, but Dean was just looking at him...well...the way he  _ always _ looked at him.

Castiel had been expecting something different, something to go along with these new feelings that Dean was singing about. He had been sitting here wondering when it had happened, wondering how long Dean had felt this way. 

But Dean’s eyes were the same. The feeling in them was the same. The intensity in them was the same. The way they studied him was the same. The way they wandered down to Castiel’s lips was the same. The way they came back to get stuck on Castiel’s own eyes was the same. The way Dean’s eyebrows furrowed with concern as he reached out and squeezed Castiel’s shoulder was the same. It was all the same…

But Castiel finally saw it differently.

Castiel scoffed. Was he really such a fool? Only just earlier, Castiel had been thinking to himself about how deeply Dean could and did love, if one knew how to see it. Apparently, Castiel was, indeed, a fool; because the way that Dean was looking at him now was the way that he had looked at Castiel for years.

Castiel’s lips parted in realization: Dean had been loving him for a long time...maybe for as long as Castiel had been loving Dean.

_ Dean… _

Why hadn’t Dean said anything? He couldn’t possibly be scared. Of course Castiel would accept any love Dean was willing to give. Did Dean really not realize how Castiel felt about him? Could he really be as blind to it as Castiel had been to Dean’s feelings? Had each of them been waiting all this time for the other to come around?

Castiel scoffed and looked down at the table. “We’re both a couple of dumbasses.”

Dean hummed. “As a wise friend once said, ‘I prefer  _ trusting _ . Less dumb. Less ass.’”

Castiel chuckled. “I don’t know how well that applies in this situation.”

Dean finally sat in the chair across from him. “So, why don’t you tell me why we’re a couple of dumbasses then, huh?” He took a swig of his beer, then set it on the table, looking at Castiel, waiting.

Castiel stared at him, studied him, got lost in him. He soon realized that Dean was faring the same. He sighed. They really were a couple of idiots in love, weren’t they…

How had neither of them ever made it clear? Castiel had tried. Of course he had tried, but he had always left just enough ambiguity in the nature of his feelings to leave room for how Dean felt and the possibility of an easy explanation if Castiel’s feelings were not reciprocated. 

And Castiel could see now that Dean had been doing the same with him.

The words to a song came to mind. Dean had made fun of this song the first time that Castiel had heard it. And...the song as a whole didn’t exactly work for what was going on, but a few of the lyrics were indeed fitting.

Castiel stood and walked around the table, still watching Dean’s eyes.

A crease formed between Dean’s eyebrows, his eyes so concerned. “Cas, tell me what’s going on.”

Castiel swallowed and reached for Dean, pulling him from his chair. He slowly reached up and rubbed his thumb over that confused scowl line before pulling Dean into a gentle embrace.

Dean froze. “Uh, okay? Right. I guess we’re hugging now.” He awkwardly patted Castiel on the back. “Cas, seriously, man, talk to me; ‘cause you’re kinda starting to freak me out here.”

Castiel rested his forehead on Dean’s shoulder and began to sing low…

_ I understand I wasn’t part of the plan _

_ A dollar short, a minute early _

_ But I am your man _

_ So come on and face it _

_ So come on and face it _

_ It’s time that we say it… _

Castiel felt Dean tense in his arms. He gripped his fingers into Dean’s back, still holding him gently, but tighter. He drew a breath and continued, determined.

_ You can cross the line whenever you want to, _

_ I’m calling it “love” soon. _

Dean’s voice shook. “Cas...”

_ Close your mind and waste some time if you have to _

_ I’m calling it “love” soon. _

He felt Dean’s arms tighten around his shoulders.

_ It’s not about you now, _

_ It’s what we  _ are.

Silence.

They stood there, Castiel gripping Dean tight -  _ again, _ Castiel’s mind supplied - and Dean’s arms loosely around Castiel as he drew in shaky breaths.

“Cas, I- what’re you- are you…” He breathed deeply and looked at the ceiling. “I need you to be very clear here. What’s going on?”

“I heard you singing earlier.”

“Okay? So, that just put you in a singing mood?”

“Something like that.”

“Dammit, Cas, be straight with me.”

“I love you.”

Silence. 

Cas leaned back and looked at him. “Dean?”

Dean pressed his lips into a tight line before asking, “How do you love me?”

Castiel scowled. “Do you really think that you’re not worth loving?”

“No. I mean...well, yeah, but...that’s not what I meant. I meant- I meant in what  _ way _ ?”

Castiel sighed and fixed his eyes on the green staring back at him. “In  _ every _ way, Dean.” He breathed deeply. “I love you in a way that makes me turn my back on heaven, that makes me give up armies without looking back. I love you in a way that means I would walk with you into any danger. I love you in a way that means I would do anything, fight any battle to keep you safe.” He lifted his hands to Dean’s neck, letting his thumb trace the line of Dean’s jaw, the edge of his bottom lip. “But I think...that the way you seem to be in doubt of...is the way I love you that makes me wish I could kiss you.”

Silence.

Then…

“So,” Dean swallowed, “you heard me singing in the shower, huh?”

“Yes.”

“You...you  _ could, _ you know.”

Castiel hesitated. “I could what, Dean?”

“Kiss me…” Dean raised a shaky hand to Castiel’s face and gently traced a finger over Castiel’s lips. “I mean, I’ve probably been wondering for a decade now what these feel like. I--”

Castiel didn’t need to be told twice. The rest of Dean’s words were cut off as Castiel pressed his mouth against Dean’s.

_ Finally… _

He broke the kiss to glance up at Dean, searching for confirmation that this really was all right.

Dean didn’t notice his glance. He just chased Castiel’s mouth even as Castiel pulled back.

That was enough.

Castiel pressed against Dean, held Dean against him, tightened his grip on him as though he could merge soul and grace and bodies into one thing.

_ Finally, _ was all he could think. How long had he wanted this? How long had he been aching to hold Dean this way? How much time had he spent wondering if Dean yearned for it too?

It was hard to tell. It felt like maybe it was yesterday. It felt like maybe he had been loving and waiting for Dean since the dawn of creation. It felt like maybe it had been since he had listened to Dean pray to him every night in Purgatory, wanting so badly to just go to him that Castiel was in pain over it. It felt like maybe he had fallen for Dean when he first saw Dean’s soul in hell, all glowing and bright even through the scars. Maybe that was it. Maybe, when Castiel had touched Dean in hell, touched his soul, it had left a mark on Castiel as surely as Castiel had left a mark on Dean’s shoulder. Maybe Castiel’s entire being had been yearning for that soul ever since he’d had to let go of it to place it back in its body.

Castiel wasn’t sure. Maybe it had happened in a day. Maybe his love for Dean had come upon him so slow and creeping that there was no discernible moment when he had fallen so much as become in love with Dean...but he knew one thing for sure: nothing in creation had ever loved anyone or anything in all of the ways or with the force he loved Dean Winchester.

And Dean loved him too.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If anyone is curious about the song Dean was singing in the shower, it's called Son of a Bitch and here's a link: https://soundcloud.com/user-166889815-22601927/son-of-a-bitch


End file.
